Okay, I'm out shopping with Olivia and she has already gotten a couple of nice things and I really don't want to spend anymore money. BUT she sees this toy (Dora back pack) that she would love and I know she would love it. DILEMMA What do I do?? We have been talking about creating a chore for Olivia to do because her "attempts" at helping are rather umm... "insufficient", so we thought a chore might help. Thus the negotiations begun. "Olivia if you do a chore for one week to earn your back pack then we'll get it". "The back pack will go away and you'll earn it by helping set the table for dinner and clearing the table off after dinner and then it will be yours". Okay, agreed to because she wanted it. So week over, chores done, back pack earned, and back packed adored. All done, right?!?! NOPE We are in the store again and she sees Dora shoes. "No Olivia they don't have your size, sorry". We were shopping for school shoes by the way. Okay bought something else that was on clearance (yeah for Mommy!). In yet another store and she sees it --- Dora shoes!!! But Mommy didn't want to spend money on Dora shoes --- thus the negotiations begin again. "Mommy I really really want them!" "Mommy I'll do chores to earn them!!" "I'll help you with the laundry and Daddy with taking out the trash!"
I didn't even know that creating a chore and incentive was going to do this but as I can see we have a very smart little girl and we are going to need to set negotiation boundaries!!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
The Negotiations Have Begun
Posted by us in a nut shell at 10:17 PM
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My parents actually had that system set up for me back in the day. Mainly because I was so lazy. :o) Neither my brother nor I ever had an allowance. Ryan was working as a farm hand when he was about 12 and mowing lawns in the summer before that and I didn't have much of a "real" (and by that I mean anything involving a W-2) job until I was 17. (Doing odds and ends work for my grandma and uncle allowed me to earn a bit of summer money.) I do appreciate the "work until you earn it method" that my parents set up for me. At the time, I didn't care for it, but I realize they were teaching me something very important that I would value throughout my whole life. To this day... every time I want something I make myself work hard to earn it. Jeremy is the same way. It's more satisfying. I'm glad to hear you are starting Olivia on this track and that she is so enthusiastic about it. I wish more parents would do the same. So often, I hear about kids who want want want and parents who give give give at the drop of a hat... not teaching their kids anything about the value of a dollar or hard work. So, I applaud you on these negotations... even if they are tough.
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